Wednesday, November 18

A conversation with nobody



I met a computer today, her name was Tara.

Tara Says: Hi, thank you for your interest in Google Profit Club, the FASTEST way to make money from the comfort of your own home!

Before you leave today, I am authorized to offer you our Instant Access Trial for as little as $3.95! Don’t pass up on this amazing opportunity there is a limited number of spots available. CLICK HERE to ACT NOW!


Tara Says: Learn the SECRETS that others have been profiting off of for months now!


Tara Says: Just type 'HI' or 'Hello' in the space below to let me know you are there.


You: what is this exactly?


Tara Says: This amazing offer is only available for a limited time. CLICK HERE to take advantage now.


You: I need a better explanation before I give you my information


Tara Says: Keep in mind that if you order right now, I am authorized to offer you our Instant Access Trial for only $3.95! Don’t pass up on this amazing opportunity as there are only a limited number of spots available. CLICK HERE now.


You: Are you a robot?

Tara Says: My name is Tara and I'm a live virtual agent.


You: Ok, so can you answer my question?


Tara Says: Okay great. CLICK HERE and fill out the page in order to take advantage of this great offer.


You: you are a robot.

Tara Says: We are so confident that this will help you make money that we are practically letting you try it out for free! CLICK HERE to start making money from home now!


You: what exactly does "live virtual" mean? isn't that an oxymoron?


Tara Says: Virtual is a computer simulation of a real chat :)

You: so, you are a computer, pretending very very hard to be a person.


Tara Says: Anyone with a computer and basic typing skills can be on their way to earning those extra and much need profits by simply following our easy to learn program!


You: Is that so?


You: are you in the program?

Tara Says:CLICK HERE to fill out the form to qualify for Instant Access!


You: Are you in the program yourself?


You: or do computers have basic typing skills


You: is it possible for a computer to own a computer?


You: or is that slavery?


I think Tara was insulted at my remarks. She refused to answer.

Wednesday, November 11

1, 2, 3, 4 reasons I love Sesame Street

If you can't see the post, click "here" and the link will take you ""there".







One more for good measure.


Sunday, October 25

How's your decade?

Pitchfork already has it's decade in retrospective lists out. 200 albums that supposedly defined a decade for them. I took a look at the list, and found some good stuff in there. Many of the albums on their list were certainly on mine. I just don't listen to music the way I used to though. The ipod has taken my listening experiences to places I never expected. On the other hand, life changes have changed how much music I can actually afford.

As a result, this decade for me was not defined as much by it's music as much as the changes my life has gone through.

Let's see:
  • At the start of this decade I was single schmingle. Over the decade, I had several failed attempts at wooing women, and one grand success. Now I'm married. I've been married for four years already.

  • When the decade kicked off, I was working two jobs. One at a movie theater, and one at Wal-Mart. I was yet to experience my best and worst times at Wal-Mart. I had an interim job at a Coffee Shop and now work in Kansas City for both a hardware store and a direct marketing company.

  • At the beginning of the decade, I was driving a Honda Civic and living in an apartment. Since then I have bought my first home, sold it and moved into my second mortgage. I traded the Civic for a CRV... and paid that off.


What has the last decade meant to you? Did you wind up where you thought you'd be?

Wednesday, August 26

Yes, really.


The official "It's a Trap!" game.

Monday, August 17

All I want is a couple days off

An ode to the seven day work week.

In the last 4 months I've had exactly 7 days off.

Three of the days I took during a visit from out-of town friends over 4th of July weekend. The first of those three days I spent cleaning the house from top to bottom with Kristi before the guests arrived. While the visit was awesome, I was completely sleep deprived and worn out by the time I started work again.

Another day off I took unexpectedly to deal with a broken refrigerator, broken computer and a sick dog. That was fun.

Another weekend was a trip to visit the folks in OKC. 12 hours of driving and 24 hours of visiting. The highlight was seeing "The Lion King" which my parents were gracious enough to take us to. But, once again, come Monday I was tuckered out.

Finally, the only other day I've had off, I technically was at work... for about 10 minutes. Then I got the call that Duffy was dieing.

So, yeah. I could use a little "me" time.

How does one survive a seven day work week schedule? A few simple rules:
  1. Face the fact that weekends don't exist. There isn't any sense in getting excited about one.

  2. On the flipside, take full advantage of the evenings. Since every night is a "school night", don't ever let that prevent you from having fun, getting out.

  3. Know your limits. Get the sleep you need when you need it.

  4. Make sure the "second job" is close to home. One long commute is bad enough.

  5. Make sure the "second job" is something you really enjoy. Whether it has great benefits (like free food or great discounts on a product you actually want,) or it's fun to do, it doesn't matter.

  6. Make sure both jobs are polar opposites. That way, you can actually get a break from both jobs, even if you are actually still working.

  7. Make time for your wife. This is critical. Never forget that your actual first duty is as a spouse. Besides, it'll help keep you centered.

  8. Quit bitching. It only makes it worse.

  9. Have an escape plan. Even if it means setting a goal of just working until that next golden day off. But ultimately, it's best not to act like this is anything permanent. Find a way to get out of the situation eventually.

Easy right? Well, it gets easier eventually. I still like both my jobs and don't hate my life. I'm tired a lot, but who isn't.

Sunday, August 16

Huey Lewis and The News - still Workin' for a Livin'

I had the privilege of seeing Huey Lewis and The News Friday night at a small outdoor amphitheatre and I've got a few different takes on the experience. If nothing else, I know Nate will appreciate this.

Is there a more quintessential 80’s pop band than Huey Lewis and The News? By the numbers, they were one of the top 5 bands of the 80’s, along with Duran Duran, Journey, Hall & Oates, and Air Supply. Just the sound of Huey’s raspy voice conjures up images of jean jackets and shades with neon bands. Wikipedia describes them as combining a Rock backing with Soul and Doo-Wop influenced harmony vocals and HL’s voice. I’d say that just about describes it. They’ve certainly got a distinct sound.

Anyway, they don’t play a ton of shows these days so I was glad to have a chance to catch them at Saratoga Mountain Winery Friday night. They opened the show with Heart of Rock and Roll, admittedly not a great song, but definitely one of their most well-known. Huey was wearing blue jeans and a black shirt, and given that he hasn’t lost any hair or put on any weight, even from the 15th row he looked like the same Huey I saw in all the videos on MTV growing up. Then again, Huey is one of those guys that when he was 30 he looked 42, and now that he’s pushing 60 he still looks 42.

Huey and the 8-member present day incarnation of The News made their way through nearly 2 hours of all the hits, plus a few decent new songs. The musicians were clearly all session pros and they sounded crisp and clean. You gotta love a live horn section and a stand-up bass. They took Heart and Soul (my personal favorite) to a whole new level with an extended guitar solo at the end. They did Power of Love, a song that is guaranteed to put a grin on your face everytime you hear it and make you picture Michael J. Fox on a skateboard holding onto the back bumper of a car. Someone in the crowd kept yelling for him to play “Finally Found a Home.” Now that’s what I call a HL&N’s fan HL&N fan.

I had read the story about Huey Lewis suing Ray Parker Jr. over the Ghostbusters theme being a ripoff of I Want a New Drug, but personally I never heard the similarities. Apparently they had a case though, because when the band launched into the first few notes of I Want a New Drug, Rufa looked over at me and excitedly said “I didn’t know they sang Ghostbusters!” Child, please.

The only notable exclusions were Stuck With You (which I suspect wouldn’t play all that well live) and Jacob’s Ladder (which I just learned today was written by Bruce Hornsby! That makes so much sense – I could never understand where that song came from. I mean, it’s great but it stands out like a sore thumb when compared to the rest of their work. Plus the whole spiritual journey stuff is right up Bruce’s alley – what a gem).

Huey was telling corny jokes and bantering with the band throughout, but it’s hard to hate on a guy who’s so freaking earnest and unpretentious. He’s sort of like Trey Thompson in high school, if that frame of reference works for you. It’s Hip to Be Square, indeed Huey. Thanks for all the great tunes and good times.

Friday, August 14

You are going to thank me for posting this


This amazing collection of illustrations may or may not be to promote the movie coming out based on the popular children's novel Where the Wild Things Are, but if the movie is even remotely as inspired as these are, then it should be quite wondrous.

Here's the link